


Worthy of My Love

by Welfycat



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-21
Updated: 2011-04-21
Packaged: 2017-10-18 11:00:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/188247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Welfycat/pseuds/Welfycat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evan finds a new way to express how he feels about John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worthy of My Love

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Kink Bingo's April Mini Challenge, Prompts: Mirrors, Worship, and Exposure/Striptease.  
> Content Notes: None

Evan finished setting up his room and took one last look around to make sure everything was in place. He'd been waiting for the perfect day to try this ever since he had come to the conclusion that John Sheppard was hiding from him. Not hiding in the sense that he couldn't be found, Evan almost always knew where to find Sheppard, and the few times he hadn't, Atlantis had ratted him out. It was was a perk of having a strong ATA Gene. No, John was hiding himself away from Evan and he thought that nearly six months into their relationship it was past time to do something about it.

It wasn't like he hadn't tried to talk with John, he even had basically played twenty questions so John wouldn't have to say anything. That had failed pretty much outright, starting and ending with John fleeing the room mumbling excuses and his head tucked down. So Evan had been forced to get a little creative; which wasn't a bad thing at all. Surviving in Pegasus was all about finding new ways to stay alive and keep the Wraith, and the Replicators, and everything else that wanted to kill them at bay. Evan figured that this was just more of the same.

Overall, things were great with John. They were both busy people, but they knew each others schedules inside out. Even though they each had some separate responsibilities, their job was basically the same: keep Atlantis and its people safe. They were always in the same battles, the same firefights, and rushing out to save people together. So, where the abrupt emergency calls or nights spent camping out on alien planets might have put a damper on other relationships, it wasn't a problem between John and Evan. Personality wise, they meshed well. They could joke together, make sly remarks, and although John had been a little bit wary at first, rank was never a problem between them. And, in bed, John was on fire. Evan had no shame whatsoever in admitting that John was the most enthusiastic and adventurous lover he'd ever had.

Except, and there always was an except, John didn't like to be looked at. No, it went beyond not liking; John was almost phobic about being looked at in intimate situations. Evan had seen John down in the gym or on the sparring range more times than he could count without a shirt and his pants riding low on his hips. To say that it wasn't a bad sight at all was beyond an understatement. But as soon as Evan reached to push up John's shirt while they were lying in bed or making out, John would use his ATA Gene to lower the lights and tint the windows until it was almost completely dark. Evan had gone out of the way to get some of the battery operated lamps for this afternoon, ones that John couldn't cut the power to with just a thought. With the windows open and the main lights on, it wasn't obvious that the lamps were there and on, but when the mirrors were revealed and the rest of the lights off, it was almost as bright with just the lamps.

The mirrors were all from his studio, a small room that was near his quarters he'd repurposed just as soon as the Wraith had finished attacking the first time. It was too small to have been set aside as quarters but had a huge picture window that took up one wall of the room. Evan couldn't imagine what the Ancients had used it for, but from what he heard of McKay's grumblings, a lot of what the Ancients had done or left behind were complete mysteries. The mirrors hadn't been there originally, he'd found them in another room a couple of levels down. They were various shapes and sizes and Evan had found a lot of use for them working on a series of paintings that revolved around reflected light. It had taken some brainstorming, and some middle of the night moving, but he'd rearranged the mirrors in strategic places around his bedroom and managed to cover them all up with sheets and blankets because he knew John would bolt if he saw them.

A lot of people seemed to assume that John spent a lot of time on his appearance, giving his hair that mussed yet attractive style. Evan thought that if he had to make a guess, he'd say that John looked in the mirror just long enough to shave and that was pretty much it. He'd seen John's hair go from just washed to dry enough times to know that it was like he claimed, and John's hair just did _that_ all by itself.

He had radioed John earlier, made arrangements for John to come by his quarters in the late afternoon. It was a deviation from their usual routine, but it was also supposed to be a half day of rest for most of the people on Atlantis, and Evan knew than John wouldn't take a break unless someone made him. It also had the added benefit of the sunlight streaming through the window, that even John tinting the windows couldn't block all the way.

Evan shrugged out of his shirt and tossed it aside. If he wanted John to actually stay long enough for them to get anywhere he'd have to be proactive. And as much as John was shy about letting Evan see his body, he was almost always eager to get Evan undressed. The door opened - Evan had long ago set his door sensors to recognize John and let him in automatically - and John sauntered in with an easy smile. It had obviously at least been a halfway descent day which let Evan relax another notch. If John had come in already tense, mostly visible in the lines around his eyes and the way he clenched his jaw, Evan would have postponed his plan. If he was right, this was already had the potential to be stressful and he didn't want to make it anymore so than necessary.

"Hey," John said, his eyes focused exclusively on Evan.

"Good day?" Evan asked. He went immediately to John and wrapped his arms around him, kissing the side of his neck eagerly.

"It is now," John replied, his voice muffled as he pressed his own lips to the side of Evan's forehead.

Evan maneuvered them back to the bed, which was fortunately only several feet away from the door, and kept John thoroughly occupied with kissing him and running his hands over John's body. When Evan felt the edge of his mattress bumping up against the back of his knees he sat down, drawing John with him.

John climbed over Evan, breaking their kiss for just long enough for them both to quickly untie and pull off their boots and for Evan to crawl up so his feet wouldn't be hanging off the edge of the bed. John plunged back down again, his hands running enthusiastically over Evan's bare chest. With John suitably occupied, Evan slipped his hands down to John's belt and loosened it, undoing the buttons that held his pants up and slipping his hands briefly inside. This was the easiest part, the only part, except his boots, that John wouldn't balk at. Fortunately, John was already just in a t-shirt, the warm spring having encouraged everyone out of their jackets while they weren't on duty.

They stayed there for a while, Evan arching up to let John pull off Evan's pants and kick them aside. When John starting making movements indicating he was ready to move forward, his head moving Evan's chest and hands drifting more and more frequently down to slip under the band of Evan's boxers, Evan grabbed John's shoulders and carefully rolled them over. There wasn't a lot of space on the beds, which Evan thought said more than enough about the priorities of the Ancients, but there was enough for them to move if they were careful and remembered where the edges of the bed were. On more than one occasion they'd both rolled off the side of the bed, John usually grumbling about how, as pilots, they should have a better sense of space around them. Evan had refrained from pointing out that it was a lot easier to tell where the bed ended when they weren't in complete darkness.

Evan continued to kiss John as he used his hands to slide up under John's shirt, gathering the fabric so that it would be easy to gently pull over John's arms and head. When he leaned up to do so, he caught a brief flash of John's chest before John mentally reached out to drop the lights. Evan leaned back in, directing his kisses purposely to John's eyes and forehead so that John would close his eyes and think that the room was dark.

He dropped John's shirt off the side of the bed and used the hand that wasn't occupied with stroking John's face to help push John's pants and boxers further down, John using his legs to help kick them off. Using the same hand, Evan tugged the sheet down from the long mirror he'd attached lengthwise along the wall next to the bed. He'd hoped they'd wind up in bed and had placed the largest mirror there with the assumption that they would. When John was completely naked and the sheet had fluttered down on the side of the bed, Evan used his hands to latch onto John's shoulders and he leaned back, knowing that John would instinctively open his eyes when he felt the kisses stop. Sure enough, John's eyes popped open and his body gave a little lurch as he realized that the room was still fairly light, more than enough light to see by.

"What the-" John pushed up on his elbows, looking for the source of the light before he noticed the mirror. He stared at it for only a brief moment, his forehead furrowed and all the muscles in his body tense. "Evan?"

Evan could feel John preparing to move, preparing to grab his clothes and dash out the door, and maybe never come back. "John, it's alright. Just stay. Please." It was the please that seemed to do it, and even though John was still tense and was still determinedly looking away from the mirror, he stopped moving.

Evan released John a little bit and started stroking his hair, the texture of his thick cowlicks never ceased to amaze him, and placed soft kisses against John's temple. John relaxed slowly, his shoulders and muscles still tight, and when Evan pulled back he noticed that John had closed his eyes tight. Evan gently kissed each of John's eyelids before moving and rearranging their bodies again. They were now laying on their sides, with John facing the bed length mirror and Evan cradled behind him.

"John, open your eyes," Evan said, gently stroking John's chest and watching John's reflection intently. When John shook his head slightly, Evan kissed the back of his neck. "I need to show you something."

Slowly, and with obvious reluctance, John's eyes fell open, his head automatically turning down and away from his reflection. "Why are you doing this?" John asked, his voice rough like it was being caught in his throat.

"Because I want to show you what I see," Evan said, running his hand soothingly down John's side. "But that only works if you look too. Will you?"

John was still for a long moment, and Evan thought he'd lost him entirely, but John gave a brief nod and raised his head again. His shoulders became squared in the process, his jaw clenching visibly, and John looked far more like he was facing a firing squad than laying in bed with his lover.

"Your eyes," Evan started, feeling for the first time that having an artists vocabulary wasn't enough for the task he'd set himself. "They're deep and thoughtful, always just a hint of everything running through your mind but not enough to get the full picture. Sometimes they're sad, or angry, but when you look at me, when we're like this, all I see is love."

John was breathing a little easier now, his shoulders relaxing minutely, and he was actually looking in the mirror along with Evan.

"Your forehead is strong, as is your jaw. When you tilt your head just right everything falls into shadow and you become this warrior, full of strength and power. The face of a leader," Evan said, leaning forward enough to place a kiss on John's jaw. John twisted slightly and they kissed for a moment, Evan letting John draw comfort and strength before pulling away.

"Your shoulders are equally powerful, but not overly muscled. Just enough there to let everyone know you mean business without being showy about it," Evan smiled as he felt John give a small huff of amusement. "And your collar bone, have I told you how much I love kissing it, especially right here?"

John twisted back again so that Evan could kiss and nip at the area right where the soft skin of his neck met the edge of the hard bone. "Are you done yet?"

"Not even close," Evan said, gently pushing John back so he was looking in the mirror. He ran his hand down and into John's chest hair, stroking the fine hairs while he rested his head on John's shoulder. "Again, firm without being overdone. Soft golden skin tone, although I'm guessing you haven't been out surfing on the beach in order to get a tan in a little while."

His fingers found the edges of the feeding scar that had been left by Todd the Wraith, moving gently around it as he knew that it was still a source of both physical and emotional pain for John. "So brave," Evan whispered, placing another kiss on John's shoulder and leaving it at that.

John twitched slightly and Evan took the hint and moved on, resting his hand down on John's hipbone. "These too," he said. "So much strength and so beautiful. That's what I see."

John rolled on to his back and Evan let him, shifting so that he was laying against him. "You're crazy, you know that, right?" John asked, his voice still rough but also more in his control.

"It's been said. But I know what I see," Evan replied.

John swallowed hard and moved again, shifting until Evan was laying securely under him and got busy pressing kisses against Evan's chest, working his way back down Evan's chest and stomach.

"You okay with the lights on?" Evan asked. He hadn't expected this to solve any problems, and he knew that there was likely still going to have to be a discussion about this at some point, but John hadn't made any move to leave or even get up to turn off the lamps.

John paused before he gave a firm lick across Evan's hip bone. "I don't know, I kinda like seeing what I'm doing. And I've recently gained a whole new appreciation for the human form."

Evan grinned and let his head roll to the side to watch from a whole new angle. He made the abrupt decision that his art studio didn't need the mirrors back right away, and that there could be entirely different applications to this set up that he hadn't considered before.


End file.
